Today’s Noisemakers: Aisha Yesufu, Makida Moka, Double Eph

Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Was walking with my Mum the other day in town and I met one of my crazy friends ,he said “my guy!! So you are dating fat women now abi”??

— A Y A N F E (@oye_bobs) February 28, 2019

This dodo is burnt.

Dear President Muhammadu Buhari @MBuhari
I am waiting for the statement of account of your campaign. Integrity is not by mouth.
I am also still waiting for that of 2015 which i also asked for.
Remember they say actions speak louder than words

— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) February 28, 2019

Preach, sis. PREACH.

My Ugandan friend that married a Nigerian said it’d take 15 years for her to get a Nigerian Passport.When you start the process, if you travel abroad to have a baby, they start counting from the beginning.They gave her something called a Naija Wife card and she can’t work.

— Makida Moka Onyekweli (@TheMakidaMoka) February 28, 2019

Any guy wearing shoes above size 44 should be avoided.

— Liquid Electricity (@four_eyed_raven) February 28, 2019

I reserve my comment.

Why is the Nigerian dating scene really bad?

— Abike (@Jollz) February 28, 2019

I die at companies that want to yarn you “we are a family it’ not about the money.

I left my mommy at home please let’s not be stupid okay, there is no friends and family discount on salary and benefits

— Abike (@Jollz) February 28, 2019

Listening to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way and seriously reminiscing how empowering this song was that year.

Forget it, Art brought us here long before anything else.

— Dude. (@InvictaPars) February 28, 2019

Thank God. Nigeria can now take back its rightful place in the league of billionaires worldwide #Blessed https://t.co/wltmhy8prs

— tyro (@DoubleEph) February 28, 2019

And yet the country still languishes in poverty. Moronic tweet.

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